You’ve clicked your way here because you no doubt were wondering: Why does this guy hate humans so much? How much is there to hate about humans? Why don’t my socks match? Well, allow me to answer all those questions for you:

Shut up.

ihatehumans.ca is nested smack dab in the middle of Alberta, the “Yeehaw!” province of Canada. Alberta is like Canada’s deep south, we like our necks red, politics conservative, and our trucks decorated with silver testicles. If you’re having trouble imagining what a Canadian redneck looks like, picture a typical American southerner then add a snowmobile. The silver testicle thing could be distinct to Alberta, I’m not sure. I hope so, it would be an honour to be uniquely stupid.

Moving on, my name is Gregg Beever, a graphic and web designer residing in the capital city of Edmonton, a city that can be an oasis of culture and art for those who seek a respite from the pervasive conservative monoculture. I’ve lived here nearly ten years and have somewhat reluctantly dug in my career roots creating advertising materials for a local camera shop.

I constructed this fledgling website as a means to deliver my unique brand of abrasive cynicism and sarcasm. If you are somehow entertained by it, excellent! If not, well whatever, you’re probably a humourless dildo. Go on, get away from my website! You’re cramping it’s awesomeness with your contradictory unawesomeness.